Background Noise: Chopin Nocturn Op 62
Last website visited: who knows
Mood: i have ennui
Right now i want... to be out of this funk.

i feel like crap. and i'm being an absolute bitch, which isn't very pleasant either. i almost didn't come in to work after the gym this morning b/c i was worried i would take everyone's heads off. i've come close a few times, which is equally annoying; because, they don't deserve my rath or jealousy or envy, and i hate feeling the way i do, then having to apologize for being insensitive. i'm not insensitive, my sensitivity is as good as always, my tact is just nonexistent.

even the thought of my harry potter ticket thursday night isn't cheering me up. why? because i'm going alone. not that i mind going alone to movies in general, but i'm feeling so very home sick about it....

i'm going to be petty for one moment more, then back to work. i've been out here since february. while i've met people, and i'm getting along with more people at work, and i might be able to count a friend or two, i'm not exactly a social butterfly yet. and i'm still not dating. granted, it's by choice, but that's not quite the point. steve comes out here and within a week he has a new best friend / potential boyfriend, and andy now has this whole group of church friends who he sees 4 or 5 times a week... and i'm... i'm just feeling very lonely.

ennui is a good word for this morning. and here i thought endorphines made you happy. (did i mention how much i've been working out lately? yeah, elle woods was full of shit).