Background Noise: giants v. rockies
Last website visited: stuff
Mood: moment of clarity
Right now i want... something small for dinner

hi :) so, since the whole catching-ball-with-face thing, several people have asked me if concussions are contagious :) isn't that cute? while i'm fairly sure that you can't catch a bruised brain though the air, the phone, or (i can dream) mouth to mouth contact, i have heard of many other activities that can cause the aching head and general need to sleep constantly.

like work.

or lack of sleep.

or actually being sick.

:) either way, i guess i'm trying to thank you for caring enough to attribute your actual calamities to my current affliction. (woa, where did that come from). anyways, i'll just chalk it up to sympthy pains; has a nice ring to it.

kind of speaking of which but not really (i mentioned the decreased attention span, right?), i've been thinking of playing catch again. now, i need to clarify, because, normally, playing catch is a fun warm up to actually playing softball. something i've been doing my whole life. something i love. but... i keep thinking about that next time i have to catch a ball, and i keep... getting scared. i have to admit it, i don't love the idea of the next time i throw a ball.

i mean, i want to do it. i need to do it, and soon. and no, i'm not talking about sex again, i'm talking about throwing a softball. so, since i've been dwelling on that "next time" i've come up with a set of situational constraints i would like to have in place, so i might feel the most comfortable.

First, i'd like to throw with a guy. no offense ladies, but i want to throw with someone who has complete control over what they're doing and knows it. i also want this guy to be someone i trust. someone who will understand the need to ease into the situation, and who won't mock me incessantly about it. well, at least not until after i'm feeling better. then they can mock all they want.

Second, i'd like to throw either around noon or at dusk, so that there is no chance for the sun to be in my eyes.

Third, i'd like to use a large white ball. something bigger than, and a different color than what hit me.

... i'm reading this and i keep thinking that i'm overdramatizing the whole thing, that i'm being irrational. i have to admit, when elizabeth had a similar reaction after taking a ball to the mouth, i was only humoring her when she made her requests (then ultimately decided she couldn't play again). but now, i realize that this isn't a trivial event.

but i know that i have to get back on that horse, as they say. because i can't imagine the rest of my life without "the game."

the thing is, i keep going over the all too short list of guys in the immediate area who would fall into the "trust worthy, knows what he's doing with a softball" category, and i'm... well, there are possibly 2 of my male friends who would work, but, one won't and i don't think the other can. so i'm worried. if i was home, this wouldn't be an issue at all.

this last week i have really missed home. and my mommy. and my dad for that matter. i want to go home and i can't yet.

damnit.