Background Noise: Symphony No. 29 in A
Last website visited: metacritic
Mood: :) keep smiling
Right now i want... The Commentator!
I have to do a short (3 minute) movie for work. And apparently this morning i was inspired with a general concept. I wrote up a treatment for Barb, since she has graciously agreed to write a script for me, and i thought i'd share the idea with you.
Every Person in China
location:
Morning.
A sunny coffee shop that bares a striking resemblance to a starbucks. non-offensive jazz plays in the background. the place is packed - Business People with their laptops and morning meetings, young Mothers with their Kids running around, the Hotties fresh from the gym, people in a hurry, people killing time, people reading the paper... basically it's an ordered chaos.
The chaos is broken into three distinct areas of the shop, two for civilians, and you must belong to only one.
Civilians: you either have your coffee and nosh and are busy finding a place to sit or making your way to the outside world, or you're in the ever expanding line of unfortunates who gaze longingly at the espresso machine, wishing that the shots being pulled were for you and not the aggravating hordes in front of you (and let's face it - anyone getting coffee before you is aggravating).
Employees: you are relegated to the land behind the counter, and area at once highly charged with busy energy, and oddly calm. You take the orders and make the coffee and fill the endless trays of muffins and cakes. Your work is fast paced and can be stressful: you have to deal with the civilians in all of their forms with a smile and a "would you like a muffin with that, sir?" Yet, your moment by moment movements are routine. You can pull a lemon-zucchini muffin from the case blindfolded. You can recite an orders price with tax without entering it into the computer known as your register. You move in the fast paced current in a zen-like trace, akin to the Dude riding the EAC in Finding Nemo. You are one with the chaos. You make eyes at the attractive members of the opposite sex. The good customers ask how you're doing. The great customers buy you christmas presents that can't be bought from your store. The people you work with fill their roles: the joker, the shy one, the snarky one, the holier-than-thou one, the popular one, the boss. Every day is a variation on the same drama. Every day you survive because of the little moments that make everything worth while; a little smile, a laugh, an act of poetic karma, a kind gesture, even a rude one. Small moments of grace that keep you sane, that allow you to shrug away the rest of the hours of mind-numbing sameness.
characters:
Employees of the Coffee Shop:
The Guy (aka Mr. Barista / see WaiterRant)
The Joker (guy)
The Ever-Put-Upon-Snarky-Chick
The Line:
The Flirt (girl)
The Ever-Expanding-and-Impatient Line (mixed)
relevant quotes:
"you're feeling pretty good about yourself right now, aren't you?"
"yeah" [gooey happy smile]
"do you want me to get a mirror?"
"ok, i'm back"
"did you know that if every person in china lined up the line would never end because of the rate of population increase? that's my list: every person in china."
possible plot outline:
[fade up on the coffee shop from the barista's perspective. it's sunny and busy. the line is to the door. it's going to be a long shift.]
- Small talk between the employees, another crappy day, can you believe ___?, much eye rolling and speaking under their breath.
- the Bet: Joker challenges the Guy. SnarkyChick rolls her eyes and makes a smart comment. or just laughs. she can be effective without having to speak. depending on her mood, she may provoke the bet.
- Inside Guy's head: his perspective: we see multiple things happening at once: his current order, what he'd like to say, what he does, his view of coworkers possibly behaving badly. He might see Flirt in the line, rushes helping his current customer so she is helped by him.
- The Flirt. The bet is about the Flirt - someone the Employees have noticed before. She is sweet and shy, always polite, but with the potential to be a great Snark. Possibly quiet because it's pre-coffee. Without prompting, the Flirt makes a comment directly related to the bet.
- The Employees double over with laughter, try to conceal it. No eye contact can be made. The bet has unwittingly been realized. Another great moment in Barista history.
- The Guy and the Flirt exchange a brief thousand-word-smile. eye contact is made. they look away. Flirt's coffee is free today.
- Flirt smiles and walks away, possibly cleans the counter by the sugar if it's messy. Employees share a look.
- Close on Guy smiling to himself - he's feeling pretty good. Then he looks back at the line, sighs, it's back to work.
Last website visited: metacritic
Mood: :) keep smiling
Right now i want... The Commentator!
I have to do a short (3 minute) movie for work. And apparently this morning i was inspired with a general concept. I wrote up a treatment for Barb, since she has graciously agreed to write a script for me, and i thought i'd share the idea with you.
Every Person in China
location:
Morning.
A sunny coffee shop that bares a striking resemblance to a starbucks. non-offensive jazz plays in the background. the place is packed - Business People with their laptops and morning meetings, young Mothers with their Kids running around, the Hotties fresh from the gym, people in a hurry, people killing time, people reading the paper... basically it's an ordered chaos.
The chaos is broken into three distinct areas of the shop, two for civilians, and you must belong to only one.
Civilians: you either have your coffee and nosh and are busy finding a place to sit or making your way to the outside world, or you're in the ever expanding line of unfortunates who gaze longingly at the espresso machine, wishing that the shots being pulled were for you and not the aggravating hordes in front of you (and let's face it - anyone getting coffee before you is aggravating).
Employees: you are relegated to the land behind the counter, and area at once highly charged with busy energy, and oddly calm. You take the orders and make the coffee and fill the endless trays of muffins and cakes. Your work is fast paced and can be stressful: you have to deal with the civilians in all of their forms with a smile and a "would you like a muffin with that, sir?" Yet, your moment by moment movements are routine. You can pull a lemon-zucchini muffin from the case blindfolded. You can recite an orders price with tax without entering it into the computer known as your register. You move in the fast paced current in a zen-like trace, akin to the Dude riding the EAC in Finding Nemo. You are one with the chaos. You make eyes at the attractive members of the opposite sex. The good customers ask how you're doing. The great customers buy you christmas presents that can't be bought from your store. The people you work with fill their roles: the joker, the shy one, the snarky one, the holier-than-thou one, the popular one, the boss. Every day is a variation on the same drama. Every day you survive because of the little moments that make everything worth while; a little smile, a laugh, an act of poetic karma, a kind gesture, even a rude one. Small moments of grace that keep you sane, that allow you to shrug away the rest of the hours of mind-numbing sameness.
characters:
Employees of the Coffee Shop:
The Guy (aka Mr. Barista / see WaiterRant)
The Joker (guy)
The Ever-Put-Upon-Snarky-Chick
The Line:
The Flirt (girl)
The Ever-Expanding-and-Impatient Line (mixed)
relevant quotes:
"you're feeling pretty good about yourself right now, aren't you?"
"yeah" [gooey happy smile]
"do you want me to get a mirror?"
"ok, i'm back"
"did you know that if every person in china lined up the line would never end because of the rate of population increase? that's my list: every person in china."
possible plot outline:
[fade up on the coffee shop from the barista's perspective. it's sunny and busy. the line is to the door. it's going to be a long shift.]
- Small talk between the employees, another crappy day, can you believe ___?, much eye rolling and speaking under their breath.
- the Bet: Joker challenges the Guy. SnarkyChick rolls her eyes and makes a smart comment. or just laughs. she can be effective without having to speak. depending on her mood, she may provoke the bet.
- Inside Guy's head: his perspective: we see multiple things happening at once: his current order, what he'd like to say, what he does, his view of coworkers possibly behaving badly. He might see Flirt in the line, rushes helping his current customer so she is helped by him.
- The Flirt. The bet is about the Flirt - someone the Employees have noticed before. She is sweet and shy, always polite, but with the potential to be a great Snark. Possibly quiet because it's pre-coffee. Without prompting, the Flirt makes a comment directly related to the bet.
- The Employees double over with laughter, try to conceal it. No eye contact can be made. The bet has unwittingly been realized. Another great moment in Barista history.
- The Guy and the Flirt exchange a brief thousand-word-smile. eye contact is made. they look away. Flirt's coffee is free today.
- Flirt smiles and walks away, possibly cleans the counter by the sugar if it's messy. Employees share a look.
- Close on Guy smiling to himself - he's feeling pretty good. Then he looks back at the line, sighs, it's back to work.
posted by Jane at 12:10:00 PM
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