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Today i witnessed history. If you've been under a rock all day, or all weekend: it's tru_e I'm not really in the mood to comment one way or the other about this at the moment.

Except to say that spending my morning watching the keynote in town hall (fun), meant that the rest of my day at work has been... hectic. Even so, i was doing a good job of handling it, until i took a break to print out some of the pictures for my mural in my office and the f@$&ing printer was low on ink! not low enough to require a new (expensive) cartridge, no, just low enough to print shitty quality pictures and completely ruin my 15 mins of break.

::deep breath::

it's ok, really, just a particularly annoying bug. I'll be fine the moment i walk out of work in a while and be in a happy go lucky mood soon after.

someone commented today that he was worried about me based on reading this blog. seems to think i'm too stressed, etc, etc.

here's the thing: since i have no net access at home right now (and that's going to continue for quite a long time, thank you) i don't get around to posting the happy funny things as much anymore since i'm writing from work normally during a particularly obnoxious problem and/or build cycle and i need to blow off some steam.

see, this blog is my sounding board, my venting room. and i've been using it accordingly. would i prefer to also have a soundproof scream room and a punching bag in my office for good measure? you bet. but i don't. and instead of going off on some undeserving (or let's face it: deserving) innocent who happens to get in my way or be chatting with me on aim, i write. or at least i'm trying to.

believe it or not, it's pretty healthy.

but it doesn't paint the best picture of me; and i forget that fact more often then i remember.

my senior year of college i was taking a very demanding load of coursework to go along with my part time job at the coffee shop and my full time job as girlfriend. the guy i was dating at the time often was my only sounding board for troubles at school, things that were annoying or obnoxious or a waste of my very precious time - and he heard so much about the things that annoyed me - that i needed to purge from my system - that he thought i hated my major, hated my classes, hated how i was spending my time. when he actually confronted me with his observations i was shocked. i didn't hate my classes at all; in fact they were some of my favorites i ever took at U of M. in fact one of them was one of the reasons i have the job i have now.

but all he ever heard from me was the bad, the annoying, the obnoxious. i forgot to mention all the good stuff too... well, i didn't actually forget, i intentionally didn't mention it because i didn't want to upset him by talking about how wonderful i was doing in my classes when he was struggling. i made dean's list both semesters that year, and he... didn't.

i thought i had good motives. i thought being in a good mood when i wasn't talking about class meant he would understand i was doing well, that i was happy, that i just needed to vent a bit and then move on.

I was wrong.

and it seems i'm making the same mistake here on my blog. i've even been called cryptic. i'm not going to apologize for not being able to talk openly about my job, and i'm not going to explain it. and as much as i want to, i'm also not going to apologize for using my blog as the sounding board i so desperately need. because if i don't vent at least a little bit here, my evenings will be spent venting everything i pent up all afternoon so that i'll end up wasting my whole day being annoyed.

i don't like being annoyed. teased is ok, challenged is great, flustered, off put, surprised, caught off guard, redirected... all basically fine. they're also all reasons for me to vent a bit.

that being said... i am sorry if this page has become somehow unfun to read. i don't mean to drag my friends down with me if i'm having a particularly annoying afternoon. i should start posting fun stuff again.

so tomorrow i'll write about the sisterhood of the traveling pants :) i promise.